kitcat_meow

"friends" (warning: loooong)

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 22:52:28 GMT

note: if I seem at all confused or contradictory in this entry, it's 'cause I am. Doesn't mean I don't mean it.

"More than friends."
For a long time, I've hated this idea, this phrase, because it makes it sound as if friends are, therefore, less.
But I'm starting to interpret it differently, much differently from how I think it is usually meant (in other words, not necessarily romantic ~~ugh~~).

To me, it means that someone has become family (a friend of mine recently used this as a way to describe a deep romantic attachment, but I think it applies here as well).

Except to me, family isn't quite the word either, because I have "friends" who are much closer than many of my relatives, and some family members (my parents) who are more than "just" my mom and dad. And, having never had a brother or sister, I'm not sure that either of those terms would fit either. Maybe?

"Friend" is a word almost as overused as "love". And it is frustrating, because unlike in romantic love, there is no ceremony or clear sign of commitment involved. There is no title that I can find that defines this connection to others, when you trust them, care about them, and want to understand them.

And I'll admit, I've long found the idea of making one person "the one" is one's life an odd concept. I remember when I was younger having a few years where I didn't want to call anyone my best friend, as I considered many people my best friend. I think that often what makes someone truly valuable to me is time, a build-up of trust, shared interests and knowledge about/understanding of the other person. And in the end, I don't know that I want to try and say "this person is more important than this person, and this other person is more important that either of them". Everyone I know has value, and the degree to which and way in which we "care" about people can vary so much that I'm not sure that this is necessary. I wouldn't want everyone in life to mean the same thing to me - the differences in relationships are the reason we need more than one person in our lives - and the amount of love I feel for them isn't soemthing I can measure and compare so easily.

Some definitions and synonyms from dictionary.com: sworn friend, constant friend, etc.:

com·pan·ion¹ (kəm-pān'yən) Pronunciation Key
n.

1. A person who accompanies or associates with another; a comrade.
2. A domestic partner.
A person employed to assist, live with, or travel with another.
One of a pair or set of things; a mate.

com·rade [kom-rad, -rid] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation

–noun

1.	a person who shares in one's activities, occupation, etc.; companion, associate, or friend.

and, finally:
love (lŭv) Pronunciation Key
n.

A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. *
A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
1. Sexual passion.
2. Sexual intercourse.
3. A love affair.
4. A strong predilection or enthusiasm: a love of language.
5. The object of such an enthusiasm: The outdoors is her greatest love.
An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.
A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.
An expression of one's affection: Send him my love.
1. A strong predilection or enthusiasm: a love of language.
2. The object of such an enthusiasm: The outdoors is her greatest love.
Love Mythology Eros or Cupid.
often Love Christianity Charity.
Sports A zero score in tennis.

*Just about the best definition of love I've ever seen in a dictionary. Oh, and FYI:

in·ef·fa·ble (ĭn-ěf'ə-bəl) Pronunciation Key
adj.

Incapable of being expressed; indescribable or unutterable. See Synonyms at unspeakable.
Not to be uttered; taboo: the ineffable name of God.

c.1450, from Fr. ineffable (14c.), from L. ineffabilis "unutterable," from in- "not" + effabilis "speakable," from effari "utter," from ex- "out" + fari "speak" (see fame).

Thu, 06 Dec 2007 00:04:13 GMT

My computer’s version of the Encarta Dictionary: English (North America) defines tired as:

1. needing rest
in need of rest or sleep, or weakened and made less active by exertion

2. no longer interested
having lost patience or interest

3. overused
no longer new or fresh because of overuse

Sounds like me. A lot like me. It IS me. All three are me.
Damn it.
Dfkjgh kjgkjhjhghfjj GKJHGKJFHGDFHJ.
Hyeah.

Me...and life...and all that stuff

Sat, 19 May 2007 14:42:11 GMT

So yeah. Thinking a lot. I saw Spider Man 3 yesterday, and honestly, I thought it was a lot better than the critics said it was. Maybe because I like complicated plots etc. And I just finished the (cool) fantasy novel I've been reading (The Dreaming Stone, or something). Anyway, both those things have me thinking about the nature of trust, reality, our selves, friendship...:p

Anyway, I've also come to the realisation that the reason I run out of things to say/say stupid things (that at elast seem stupid to me)/sometimes may seem boring or overly quiet is that I'm so worried about those things. I am not pathetic! I am not perfect, or right for everyone, but I am actually worth talking to. This is not the way I usually approach things - I usually try to prove to people that I am worth it by measuring every single word in complete fear and shyness, or I hide away and don't talk to anyone. :s lol, let's see how long this lasts. :p

quiz results...semi-accurate :p

Thu, 17 May 2007 22:31:39 GMT

Extraversion
|||||||||||||| 60%
Stability
|||| 16%
Orderliness
|||||||||||| 43%
Accommodation
|||||||||||| 43%
Interdependence
|||||||||||| 43%
Intellectual
|||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Mystical
|||||||||||||||||| 76%
Artistic
|||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Religious
|||||||||||| 43%
Hedonism
|||||||||| 36%
Materialism
|||||||||| 36%
Narcissism
|||||||||||| 43%
Adventurousness
|||||| 23%
Work ethic
|||||||||||||| 56%
Self absorbed
|||||||||||| 43%
Conflict seeking
|| 10%
Need to dominate
|||| 16%
Romantic
|||||| 30%
Avoidant (I think it might be more than that)
|||||||||| 36%
Anti-authority
|||||||||||||||||| 76%
Wealth
|||||| 23%
Dependency
|||||||||||||||| 63%
Change averse
|||||||||| 36%
Cautiousness
|||||||||||||||| 70%
Individuality
|||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Sexuality
|| 10%
Peter pan complex
|||||||||| 36%
Physical security
|||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Physical fitness
|||||||||||||| 57% (eh heh)
Histrionic
|||||| 30%
Paranoia
|||||||||||||||| 70%
Vanity
|||||||||||| 50%
Hypersensitivity
|||||||||||||||||| 76%
Female cliche
|||||||||||||| 56% (should this be offensive?)

Stability results were very low which suggests you are extremely worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious. (haha, yes, yes that's true)
Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.
Extraversion results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity. (really? i'm not so sure about that)

open, tough (ha ha), irritable, worrying, does not like to be alone, craves attention, low self control (hey! who do you think you are talking to???), emotionally sensitive, interacting, sad, very social, aggressive(idk about that...), prefer organized to unpredictable, dependent, social chameleon, suspicious, values the heart over the mind, likes large parties(yet agaion, not so sure...), outgoing (maybe once I know you?), likes to make fun, likes to fit in, mildly phobic, vain, makes friends easily, enjoys leadership (um...?), clingy (oh thanks), rash (hmph)

twelve days of Christmas...

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 00:01:37 GMT

On the twelfth day of Christmas, kitcat_meow sent to me...

Twelve palmsandknees drumming

Eleven poisoned925s writing

Ten ignoredflowers a-drawing

Nine angelboulevards dancing

Eight movies a-singing

Seven cats a-thinking

Six dreams a-reading

Five bo-o-o-ooks

Four stories

Three sea creatures

Two superhero movies

...and a shakespeare in a photography.

What the??? Ha ha, that's bizarre.

Yay for Christmas!!!!!!

Tue, 05 Dec 2006 21:13:02 GMT

All I have to say:

What. The. Fuck?!

Thu, 30 Nov 2006 02:28:51 GMT

myYearbook Quiz: How will you die? (25 possibilities)
Burned at the stake for witchcraft. -- Traditional. Warm. Atmospheric. You should take comfort in the fact that your death will be the social event of the season, and a good time will be had by all. . . well, except you, of course!
http://quiz.myyearbook.com/zenhex/shareq...

contrary to popular belief

Tue, 28 Nov 2006 00:28:05 GMT

You Are Not Scary

Everyone loves you. Isn't that sweet?

How Scary Are You?

sins...lol

Tue, 21 Nov 2006 00:05:32 GMT

Greed:	Very Low
Gluttony:	Low
Wrath:	Low
Sloth:	High
Envy:	Medium
Lust:	Very Low
Pride:	Medium

The Seven Deadly Sins Quiz on 4degreez.com

Now you know who I am...but not really

Sat, 11 Nov 2006 14:28:26 GMT

Hah, get used to the endlessly odd. Wheeeee! I am bored, listen to me ramble. So yeah. Hi. Stupid homework. Oh well, I probably have less than most of you *feels the knife in my back from the other Sarah*.

Whoo! A Happy Entry

Sat, 30 Sep 2006 14:54:26 GMT

Dancing dancing dancing! I love dancing! Ahem. I went to a CD release party for someone (Sue Smith) my mom knows yesterday. I went with my mom, her boyfriend and my best friend. I haven't doen anything quite so interesting for a long time.

eck...sick

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 22:17:49 GMT

So, I've been sick for 4 days...
I should go back tomorrow, as I'm starting to feel better and have missed too much work.
I went to a volunteer thing at the library late this afternoon. I wouldn't have gone (sick), but it was the first meeting so I had to go. I ended up being late (heh). Everyone else who was there is in French immersion, but we all went to (some are still at) the same middle school.

Random list-y type thingy

Thu, 14 Sep 2006 21:59:49 GMT

- I haven't bought a new CD in a long time. Perhaps I am too picky? Need new music. I never listen to music anymore. That is just not normal.

- I really have to start trying to talk to people who aren't my friends. Some of my classes I say absolutely nothing. That is frightening. And a bit depressing. What's my issue? I tend to have nothing to say and no one to say it to. Yes, my fault, I know. *Working in it*

- Writing: still trying to get around to it. But, on a more positive note, I no longer think my writing is complete crap (I started wondering yesterday).

- Finished reading "Eats, shoots and Leaves" for the second time, and marked important pages. You know, it was funny both times, but you can only read grammar books so often! Yay, back to semi-mindless fantasy novels that I love (as long as they are not cheesy, and have soem value beyond entertainment, even if it's only a little bit).

Writing

Wed, 13 Sep 2006 23:30:24 GMT

I really have to write more. Not poetry, I've written A LOT of poetry recently. Stories, rather. Problem is, every time I try, it's so...uninspired. And reading the last few weeks' worth of stuff makes me feel worse - because it, too, was uninspired.

Tired.

Wed, 13 Sep 2006 00:17:10 GMT

I am really tired - and kinda depressed. Fun, fun. I feel like I've wasted my evenings recently, but I can't think of stuff to do. I should be hanging out with friends, but...yeah. So, a super-cheery first entry from me.